As I was in the parking lot the other day, a woman asked me for help jumping her car. As I sat there in my car waiting for her battery to turn over (it didn’t unfortunately), I thought to myself, we need to ask for help more often, we can’t wait until our proverbial battery is dead.
In the women’s wellness world, the topic of “self care” is rampant. Often we are told “find time for self care, you need to practice self care, it starts with self care.” It’s true, self care is incredibly important, but a lot of women I work with just end up feeling guilty for not practicing “self care” because that idea seems untouchable…I mean they barely have time to pee during the day.
That’s when I ask, “Who can you ask for help?”
I can’t think of anything more “self care” than asking for help. We need to stop considering asking for help as a sign of weakness…it’s complete BS. It’s OKAY to ask for help, not feel guilty and in turn allow someone to be of service. It’s a win-win. I felt better about myself when I stopped to help the woman in the parking lot and I always feel good when I’m able to help a friend with childcare for a few hours.
When someone asks “Is there anything I can do, or is there anything you need?” why is our default response “Oh I’m all set.”? I used to be VERY guilty of this. But honestly, there are a thousand things I could use help with. Take my son for 2 hours so I can run errands without bribing him with snacks through the aisles of Target or occupy him with the ipad so I can take him to an appointment. Bring a dish to the party so it’s one less thing I have to make. Ask the husband to divide and conquer bedtime. Hire someone to help with cleaning.
This might be different people for different things. For example your mom might be your person you call on for childcare, a mom friend to help with a playdate exchange or carpool and another friend is the person you call for emotional support. This web of support is so powerful, sometimes we just need to step back and recognize the roles that people in our lives play.
Instead of thinking we are inconveniencing others with our requests, let’s see it as an opportunity. An opportunity to ask and receive help. It gives others an opportunity to help and in turn, gives them permission to ask for help. This is what builds community.
I see women every day who are feeling overwhelmed, riddled with guilt and just plain burnt out. In order to nourish ourselves, fill our tanks and thrive, we need to ask and receive help. We are not designed to do it all alone…you know, it takes a village.
Still feeling overwhelmed? Not feeling great about your health? Let’s talk. Schedule a complimentary strategy call where we can discuss where you’re at, where you want to go and what might be standing in the way.